That Kind of Friend
(John 19:38-42)
John 19:38-42
38 Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jewish leaders. With Pilate’s permission, he came and took the body away. 39 He was accompanied by Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night. Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds. 40 Taking Jesus’ body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs. 41 At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. 42 Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.
Friendship is defined as a state of enduring affection, esteem, intimacy, and trust between two people. In all cultures, friendships are important relationships throughout a person's life span. We can even see the dynamics of friendships in this scripture. Joseph of Arimathea is described as a disciple who secretly follows Jesus due to his fear of Jewish authority. Nicodemus was a Pharisee, a member of the Jewish ruling council, a follower, believer, and seeker of truth about who Jesus was. He can also show us something about true friendships.
In my reflection of this passage, I began to think about friendships I’ve had on my life’s journey. The kind of friends who show up when you need them the most. Something like Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus who showed up to care for their friend Jesus’ body so that he could receive a proper Jewish burial. True friends show up and speak truth over each other as they seek how God is working in their friends' lives.
In 2010, I just graduated from college, and I remember the day I received a terrifying call that one of my best friends was admitted into the hospital. At the time, I felt like I couldn't bear the thought of losing the first friend I made when I moved to Georgia in 1998. One of the first friends I connected to in middle school. We were always together along with two other friends. The four of us were inseparable. So, I did not know what I was getting ready to see, I did not know what to expect, but what I did know was the power of prayer. Twelve years have passed since her diagnosis, and she is still present with us.
What I have learned about friendships is that we pray for one another, pray with each other, hold each other accountable, and engage in edifying conversations. When I think about what Jesus went through in his life of ministry up to his crucifixion he had many different people in his life waver, betray, love, support, and leave him. I constantly think about my friend as she journeys through her diagnosis. I always think about the importance of having a supportive and praying friend to be by her side, whether it has been in the hospital, at her house, or by phone for a check-in.
That kind of friend.
After examining the relationship that Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus had with Jesus, if I were them, I too would want to go and tend to the body of my friend. Are you That Kind of Friend? The kind of friend that knows the truth about your friend and their secrets and holds them confidently. Are you that kind of friend who holds space when others need it? Are you that kind of friend? Ask yourself are you that kind of friend and think about how you would like to be cared for and treated.
During this Holy Week, let these scriptures help you navigate your friendships.
Proverbs 27:9
9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.
John 15:12-13
12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
Colossians 3:12-14
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Rev. Jessica Christine Mitchem is from Long Island, NY. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in Social Work from The LeMoyne-Owen College in Memphis, Tn. She has a Master of Divinity from Howard University school of Divinity, and a master’s in social work from Howard University school of Social Work. Rev. Jessica is an ordained Itinerant Elder in the African Methodist Episcopal Church. Rev. Jessica recently completed a clinical pastoral education residency at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City where she currently works as the inpatient oncology staff chaplain, also serves as the executive pastor at Bethel AME Church in Freeport, NY.